Having been raised with this work ethic I always feel that I must be busy and productive at all times, and be able to give an account of everything I have done for the day.
There was not a lot of encouragement to have a hobby as I was growing up.
Something that I have always know about myself but never really addressed, is the guilt I feel when I want to do something I enjoy. Such as my photography or even just reading a book during the middle of the day. I will make these deals with myself, if I get this, this and this done then I can go out for a couple of hours and explore with my camera. Usually by the time I get those things done I don't have any desire or energy left to go out anymore.
What brought about the realization that I need to deal with this guilt issue? I started sessions with a personal trainer this week. My personal trainer also happens to be my yoga instructor. If you know anything about yoga it is about the mind and the body. We met for 1-1/2 hours for our first session to go over things I wanted to work on, goals, my trouble areas, etc. Then we got down to the nitty gritty, the stuff behind my physical weaknesses. Guilt, perfectionism, self-esteem. I basically carry all these issues on my back, causing undue stress which leads to weakness and pain.
Things I will be working on to say good-bye to guilt are:
- Stop feeling guilty because I don't "work". God has blessed me with the opportunity to not have to work.
- Use the gifts and talents that God has given me to be a blessing to others. Stop trying to hide them under a bushel. Let them shine.
- Stop having to give an account of everything I have done or am going to do for the day.
- Take a day off once a week. A day off from my exercises, housework, responsibilities and use that day to enjoy the gifts and talents that God has given me.
I am calling my day off my Creative Inspiration Day. My first one is tomorrow!
*I share this today because if someone reading this is dealing with their own guilt issues, I just want to let you know that you are not alone. Together we can say....