An Atypical Evening

There is nothing routine about our evening routine. It doesn't matter whether Mallory is home or at college we are rarely home together at night, especially in the summer. So I took advantage of the Memorial Day weekend when everybody was home to chronicle an atypical night.

It's Sunday and the whole next day, the holiday, is a bonus day off for everyone. Mallory decided to set up her backpacking tent in the backyard. Hubby saw this and asked if she planned on sleeping outside that night. (Now this had been a 90 degree day so it was not going to be pleasant sleeping temperatures)
Anyway, Mallory thought she would sleep out along with one of the dogs.

Next thing I know Hubby is setting up his backpacking tent as well. Meanwhile, I am thinking "GREAT the whole house to myself".

Well it's 11 p.m. and everybody heads off to bed, Mallory and Scout to her tent, and Hubby to his tent, me to my comfy bed. When I look outside I see headlamps switch on to do some bedtime reading, and I pray that they stay out there all night long.

Budget item "House"

The very first item on my very simple 3 X 5 index card budget system is "House".  Let's face it , a house is probably the most expensive purchase you will ever make. If you budget well and are really lucky you may even be able to cross off that line item someday. Ours is scheduled to be crossed off in 12 years, but a lot of life can happen in the next 12 years.

The amount budgeted per month for that "house" category has definitely changed over the years.

Our very first "house" was a 12 X 60 mobile home. No frills, no air conditioning, parking at the curb,  2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom. In our bedroom we could fit our queen size bed and a dresser and that was it. When we sold it 2 years after we got married, we had it almost paid off and sold it for what we bought it for.

Our second home was a two bedroom, 1 bathroom "real" house. This time we had a window air conditioner in our bedroom, we could fit our bed , a cedar chest and 2 nightstands. We had a separate dining room, a front porch and a two car garage. We were young and ambitious with that house, painting, putting in new flooring, and new windows on the porch. The fun and aggravation we had fixing up that house into a home. The best part was converting the 2nd bedroom into a nursery. Crib, Changing Table, Rocker, cute Teddy Bear wallpaper, all in anticipation of the arrival of a little one.

2nd house - 1st home

We moved soon after Mallory was born. This was at a time when there were not a lot of houses on the market. Our house had three offers within the first couple of days on the market. We wanted to move back to the northside of town where we both grew up. The house we found fit our price criteria and it was very close to the elementary school that Mallory would attend. I never loved that house, it was not the 2-story home I wanted, and it was on a busy street, but it was new and we needed a house since ours had sold. Even though I never loved that house, we had nine wonderful years of memories there. Mallory's first steps, the first time she rode her bike up and down the driveway, walking to her first day of Kindergarten. We also had the best neighbors we have ever had, so maybe we had to move there just to meet them.

When we first bought the house - no yard

Shortly before we moved from this house

Our current home is as close to my dream house as I have been so far. We have four bedrooms, 2-1/2 bathrooms, a four season porch, large deck, and best of all a big kitchen and big dining room. In our bedroom I can fit a King size bed, a dresser, two nightstands and a bookcase. Many happy memories have happened here, Mallory's first day of high school, her first test drive up and down the driveway, her graduation open house, her leaving for college (well that wasn't happy, but we are so proud of her).

Current home

The next home will probably be a down-sized, retirement house, hopefully up in the Leelanau Peninsula, at least that is my goal. Will the line item "house" ever completely go away? Who knows...

Used Car Shopping

We knew we would have to replace my husband's much loved Toyota Avalon this year. It has served him very well for the past 8 years, but with it being 11 years old and having 315,000 miles on it, it was time to let it go.

This is the story of a recent Saturday adventure, driving to Chicago (about 3 hours from our house) to look at a loaded 2008 Avalon with 20,000 miles on it for $23,995. My husband saw this car on line at a Toyota dealership a bit south of Chicago. Yes, it was a drive but the car looked good on line and the price was in our budget. 

We arrived about 9:30 a.m. (10:30 our time), the dealership screamed high pressure sales. We were greeted by "Mary" who was happy to show us the car, but first she and hubby took his car for a test spin, since he was interested in possibly trading his in.

Finally she brings around the car we are there to see , she walks us through all the features of the car, engine to trunk. Then we get in to take it for a test drive, she gets behind the wheel. She has to be the one to drive the car off the lot, then she and hubby could switch places once we turned onto a side road. Interesting...

When we get back to the dealership, "Mary" gives us a tour of the service department (like we are going to drive 3 hours one way for service), the customer waiting area, parts department, etc. Then the fun begins, "Mary" has all the paper work; car fax, their service inspection, and the numbers sheet. Hubby had been given an internet price of $22,800, which he had told "Mary", the numbers sheet says $23,995 and only $500 for his car.  A personal insult to hubby! Mainly "Mary" wanted to know what payment plan we wanted at 14.99% interest. Ah NONE! Negotiations back and forth between hubby and "Mary" and then poof "Mary" is gone and out comes her Manager.

More negotiations with the Manager and we have about had it. It is now 11:00 (noon our time) and we are getting hungry, so we tell Manager we are going to go to lunch and discuss it and then we will be back. Now here is where it gets good. Manager says "Why don't you take the Avalon to lunch?" What happened to they have to drive it off the lot? Now we can drive it to lunch a few miles away and have it sit in a parking lot for an hour while we eat lunch. Weird...

We decided at lunch this car wasn't quite it. We went back to the dealership, told them no to that car. Then they started pulling out every Avalon they had, for us to drive. By the last one I was so done with it all. Thankfully College Daughter called then and saved me. We got back to the dealership and I went and sat in our car giving hubby the perfect out to get us out of there. As hubby is walking back to our car the manager says "what about the car you came here to see, what about $21,500?"

So sorry, too little, too late. Quite the adventure though.

Favorites - P52 Week 21

Two of my favorite things; the beach and my Chacos.

Yes, I have a fairly large collection of Chaco sandals. The college daughter counted them today, 9 pairs. They are not all present for this photo shoot (I couldn't carry them all). I have a pair for almost every outfit. There are still a few colors I would like to add to the collection.

Because of my back problems and high arches, these sandals are the best thing for my feet, back and hips. When I worked retail and had to stand on my feet all day, I would wear my sandals, year round, and never experience any problems with my back, hips or feet. I wore them in the store even in the winter (I wore boots to work). I got a few interesting looks from people in December and January and asked me if my feet were cold, but I didn't care my body was happy.

Work

While I do have a small freelance job at a local furniture store taking pictures of their inventory for their website and Facebook page. I don't really consider that work, my schedule when I go there is very flexible and I don't have to ask off for vacation, I just let them know I won't be in that week. I consider it more a creative outlet than "work". My main "work" is taking care of my family and our home. Some of my many professions are:

Gourmet Chef or Short Order Cook - This depends on the day and whether we are all home to eat together or if everybody is on different schedules for the day. I do love to cook though!

Laundress - Mounds of laundry to wash, line dry (when possible), iron, fold and put away.

Housekeeper - Dust, vacuum, mop, dishes, windows, etc. The only thing I refuse to do is bathrooms.

Guidance Counselor - Available 24 hours a day for whenever the college girl needs somebody to talk to, especially when it is about boys.

Chauffeur - Especially before our daughter got a car again, there were many appointments to go to as soon as she was home from college.

Dog Walker - Once or twice daily walks for Riley and Scout. Exercise is needed to curb naughty behavior.

Purchasing Agent - Groceries, clothes, furniture, dog food, and project supplies.

Appointment Scheduler - Haircuts, Doctors, Dentists, Veterinarian, dog groomer, and social outings.

Lawn Girl - In the last year the responsibility of mowing has fallen more and more on me since I am home.

I am sure the list could go on and on. One thing I know for sure, if we had to pay somebody to do all these things. I would need to work full time just to pay for it. I think I will enjoy my "work" just the way it is.

Me - Right Now

Today we were encouraged to write about ourselves. Fortunately Ali gave us a list of 10 questions to answer about ourselves. This is a topic I would like to revisit at the start of  every season of the year, just to see how I answer the questions each time, what changes and what stays the same.

1. Age: 43, on the brink of 44.

2. Favorite part of the day: Morning. I love having the whole day ahead of me. Each morning is a fresh start to make right things that went wrong the day before, and continue the things that were going well.

3. Loving: The photography and writing e-courses I am participating in. I love the growth and confidence I am feeling.

4. Longing for: More opportunities to travel, to take my camera and shoot new things, document life through my writing.

5. Inspired to: Be an inspiration to women through my photography and writing. I think this is the first time I have allowed myself to say this dream out loud.

6. Dreaming of: Leelanau Peninsula. Living there someday. Having a studio filled with soft light coming through windows looking out on to nature.

7. Needing: More time in a day. A Vacation.

8. Navigating: Life as empty nesters (for the most part). Finding my voice.

9. Struggling with: The inability to get everything accomplished in a day that is on my to do list.

10. Knowing: That I am loved and that I can return love. My family is the most important thing to me.

Conversations in the Woods

It seems like so many of the conversations about life that my daughter and I have had, have taken place here in these woods.

These woods, are some hiking and biking trails that are quite close to our house, so a quick car ride is all it takes to get here.

Many times when she was still in high school we would come here after school to walk the dogs and to discuss her day. What went right, what went wrong, classes she loved, classes she didn't.

On Sunday afternoons we would come and discuss the bigger questions; what classes to take next year,  boys or the lack there of, what to wear to the prom, what college, will she get married, will she have kids.

The conversations haven't always been easy or dry-eyed on either one of our parts, but they have always left a deep impact on me. Just last week we had one of those conversations here. She was adjusting to being back home from her first year of college and struggling with who she is now. Is she the strong, confident person she has become at college or is she Glen and Sarah's daughter trying to fit back into the family unit. In reality she is both, she just had to find the balance between them.

I, also was adjusting, to losing a big chunk of my free time, having to wake her up in the morning for appointments (not an easy task), different schedules for everyone, more laundry, plus helping her look for a car.

This was not an easy conversation for either one of us, but one we needed to have to clear the air between us. Tears were shed by both of us, but the outcome was so worth it. A better understanding of where each of us was coming from and a better understanding of where we needed to go. Things improved greatly after that conversation and things for the most part are happily different yet the same.

I know we will have more deeply meaningful conversations here; talk about jobs, where to live, wedding plans.